Rethinking Success: Your Life, Your Rules

For the longest time, I thought a good life followed a strict pattern: go to university, complete NYSC, get married, land a stable government job. That was the blueprint we were handed. In school, it was either doctor, lawyer, or engineer—or you weren’t serious about life. And by JSS3, you were supposed to already know your lifelong career because SS1 demanded that you choose a path: science, arts, or commercial. Looking back now, that pressure feels ridiculous. At that age, most of us didn’t even know ourselves yet.

Recently, I’ve been comparing our educational system with those in more flexible Western countries, and honestly, it’s jarring. Our system is stiff, overloaded, and outdated. I saw a mentee’s university transcript not long ago—11 courses in a single semester. It read like a Bet9ja slip. It was a moment of clarity for me: our institutions are often just going through the motions without real impact.

And then there’s society’s expectations—especially for women. The pressure to marry before 25? Still a thing. It’s 2025, and we’re still dragging around these old-school ideals like they’re law.

Meanwhile, the world has changed. Opportunities have gone digital. You no longer need to follow the traditional roadmap to succeed. The internet has leveled the playing field. You can learn anything, connect with anyone, and build the life you truly want. But it starts with your mindset.

Think about the kind of life you want. Then go find people already living it. Watch their talks. Read their stories. Follow their journeys. That’s how you begin to rewrite your own story.

Let me share something that touched me deeply. Just before writing this, I got a call from a mentee. Around this time last year, he was just starting NYSC. His parents pressured him to redeploy for a government job in the southwest. But he had other plans—he stayed at his PPA, interning with a major firm, while applying for international scholarships. I encouraged him to focus on the big picture, even if it meant choosing the unknown.

Today, he called to tell me he just received a fully funded scholarship to study in the U.S.—with a $2,140 monthly stipend and full insurance. I was speechless. His mother was crying on the phone, thanking me. She said they didn’t know this kind of thing was possible without “connections.” I told her we’re all still learning. Then she asked me to visit when I’m next in Nigeria—she wants to cook for me. I laughed and said, “Ema worry mummy, aku orire.” Then we ended the call.

That call made my day. It reminded me why I believe so deeply in the power of mindset.

You don’t need to follow the old path to succeed. Define your own. Study. Ask questions. Take bold steps. The tools are in your hands.

And most of all, remember:You will not fail.